Smumb...Smug+Dumb

So I was shopping today, and as I walked through the busy Marin parking lot, I happened to look over and see a bumper sticker that caught my eye. It read:
 
"Spill Baby Spill! How's that whole offshore drilling thing working out for ya?"

Now, I have never been a fan of Sarah Palin's whole Tea Party cadre of angry conservatives, and this bumper sticker is obviously a direct jab at her "Drill Baby Drill" catch phrase refracted through the lens of the tragedy of the Gulf oil spill disaster...but there is one other salient fact about this bumper sticker that has driven me from the grumbling depths to tap words to blog...that being that this particular bumper sticker was slapped on the rear of one of the many SUVs crowding the busy Marin parking lot that I was carrying my groceries through.

Marin County, along with being one of the wealthiest counties in the country, is also a heavily liberal place. Election results regularly run 60-80% Democrat, with the Progressive arm of the party being strongly represented.

So it is not surprising that a Marinite would feel compelled to take a bumperstickered shot at Sarah Palin. The problem is that this self-same Marinite seems to be oblivious to the irony of placing that bumperskicker on the back of a vehicle that desperately relies upon the whole "Drill Baby Drill" ethos, regardless of how many carbon offsets the owner may smugly wave about in their own defense.

The fact is that we: me, you, the smug Marinite in the stickered SUV, and the wingnuts from the Westboro Baptist Church, all share an addiction to refined crude that is only increasing. Sure, that shiney new Lexus Hybrid SUV sucks less of the stuff...but it still sucks...and sucks and sucks and lord knows you need the thing to run Aiden to his soccer practice after your Yoga class and before you pick up little Courtney from her jr. Pilates program.

So I say to you Mr or Mrs Smugginess, learn the meaning of "irony" and recognize that leveraging a horrific ecological disaster to make a weak political point (to an audience that mostly gets it already) is not clever or enlightened or any of the other qualities that I am sure that you embrace over tapas and Merlot with your friends.

Be smarter than that and realize that complex problems, especially those that you are contributing to, require far more thought that a snappy bumper sticker.

Driving Jaguars in Marin

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Marin County California, it happens to be one of the wealthiest counties in the country. This is a fact that I have been aware of for the entire time that I have grown up in it.  It is wealthy for a number of reasons: it's proximity to San Francisco; it's beautiful landscape; its temperate weather and it's sublime aura...all of which make it one of the ideal places for people outside of Marin and California to target as THE place that they want to live to demonstrate that THEY have indeed made it in life. The problem is, that for those of us who did actually grow up here in modest suburbia, living here has , for all intents and purposes, become financially impossible. 

Yes I still live her, but I have rented all my adult life and the prospect of me ever being able to afford any of the freakishly overpriced homes here is less than anorexic to non-existent. So why do I stay? Why have I stayed? Simple, it is home. This is where my family is, where my roots truly are and where I have found solid and gainful employment all of these years.

Sure I could move away from the place that everyone seems to want to move to, but where would I go? Stick a finger in a map and hope for the best? 

Well, thats a subject for another blog. This blog entry is about the kind of people who live here and have the money to buy expensive, high performance cars, though they have no right or reason to drive them.

Unfortunately, the median age of the residents in Marin has crept higher and higher due to a combination of long term residents who still live here because they bought their houses in the 60s and 70s and newer, old residents who are usually the only ones who can actually afford to buy new homes here (at the inflated prices).

So, I would say that the median age of the residents in Marin now approaches 60+. Now I have nothing against older people. I know several, and I will be a member of that same category myself in ...well in a decade and a half or so. No, my problem is those self-same older folks who have made it to their golden years with an over abundance of discretionary income who believe that they need to spend that income on purchasing a Jaguar.

I know, a Jaguar is a lovely high performance car that is legendary for its speed and handling. I would LOVE to drive one myself, but I happen to be a part of the Honda Civic set so such luxuries are currently beyond my enjoyment. 

However, that doesn't minimize my annoyance at these elders who have purchased one of these fine automobiles for the soul purpose of put-putting to and from the Whole Foods so that they can buy their organic Metamucil. 

When I am stuck behind one of these grey-headed traffic-constipates is driving ahead of me in their $90,000 auto, I do tend to entertain thoughts of intentional rear-end ramming and car-jacking for no other reason than to steal the car and drive away at speeds that suit the design and performance standards of the car.

I had the mis-fortune of once owning an Austin Marina, which is a rediculous excuse for an automobile. Nothing about the car worked as it should, and I often had to take it to the only British Motor Car mechanic in town to repair. Fortunately, this gentleman took pity on me and usually did the repairs at a reduced cost. I am certain that one of his motivations for doing so was the fact that his shop was always filled to capacity with a number of Jaguars. He used to shake his head and say that the worst thing that you could do to a Jaguar was drive it to and from the store. The thing is designed to drive at 120 miles per hour, anything less is an insult and this car is very proud and doesn't suffer such indignities lightly.

So, I suppose that it is some solace to me to know that the drivers of these glacially driven Jaguars must frequently suffer the expensive attention of highly specialized mechanics. But honestly, I would much rather give in to my road-rageous fantasies and drive the things like they were meant to be driven. 

Sigh...now get the hell out of my way!!!!